The Heart Does Not Listen
by cypsiman2
Summary: A Continuation Of Dancing Shoes. It is the eve before the Ceremonial Battle, and Yuugi gives Anzu one last chance to speak with the Pharaoh. Her confessions of her heart shows the pharaoh what he needs to say to ease her mind. Peachshipping.


I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its associated properties.

The Heart Does Not Listen

"Yuugi, can I come in?" Yuugi had just put the finishing touches on the deck he'd made for the ceremonial battle tomorrow, and it was right then that he heard Anzu just outside his room. He could use some time to get his mind off of this last arduous task before him, so he invited her in. As she came in, Yuugi could see the pensive look in her eyes, the way she was rubbing her hands together.

"Anzu, is everything okay? Is there something you want to talk about?" She was looking down now, her bangs over her eyes, and as he came closer, he heard her breathing, slow and shallow. "What's wrong? Why aren't you looking at me?" They stood there for several seconds, and then she finally looked him in the eye, and there was a piercing sadness there. It was regret.

"Yuugi, I need to talk… I need to talk to the other… I need to talk to Atem. Alone." It was still hard to see this side of her, the part of her that longed for the other him. True, there wasn't ever any real chance to actually date or go out since Anzu's birthday, but there was an understanding that they were an item now, and that they were going to try as soon as there was time. But still, looking at those blue eyes, Yuugi knew that he couldn't deny her this. Atem was going to be gone soon, once more among the shining dead, and there would be no more chances after that. He clasped her hands in his.

"Don't worry Anzu, you know it's not in me to be selfish. I'll explain it to him, he'll understand." As Yuugi closed his eyes, Anzu whispered beneath her breath.

"Thank you, Yuugi. You've always been too kind for your own good. I'm going to make this up to you, somehow." She waited patiently for the change in Yuugi's heart, for the indefinable sign that Atem was on the surface. The silence was teeming with fear and doubt, and then he opened his eyes, those powerful confident eyes that were his, and nobody else's.

"Yuugi wanted me to let you know that he's withdrawn himself deep in the room of his soul. He felt that it was important that we have our privacy from him. Now Anzu, what did you need to talk about? Take as long as you like, this could be your last chance." He seated himself at the edge of Yuugi's bed, and Anzu joined him. Anzu took a brief period of time to remember an old zen koan that her grandmother had taught her, clearing her mind so that she could have some dignity as she spoke. She was not going to collapse into her emotions, she was stronger then that.

"First of all, I want to thank you, for being the friend that Yuugi had always needed. I know that you think the world of him, but I don't know if you can really appreciate the sort of person that he was before you came into his life. He was so… timid, shy; really he was a push-over. People would be rude to him, short with him, just so awful to him, and he'd never fight back, he'd just let them do it to him. I stood with him for years and years, and when I was around, people would leave him alone, but I couldn't be around all the time, and I couldn't help him to get stronger. I'd tell him he needed to be tougher, I'd say to him that he needed more confidence, but he stayed the same shy, timid, push-over that he always was. What I'm trying to say, is that I'm really grateful that you draw out his confidence, his self-worth, everything that I should have done, but didn't." Atem looked at her, his face inscrutable.

"Anzu, do you think that you were a bad friend? That's what it sounds like you're saying, but I can't bring myself to believe that." Anzu shifted her feet.

"Well, maybe not a bad friend, _per se_, but definitely not as good a friend as I could have been. Don't you think that if I'd really tried, I could have drawn out Yuugi's confidence? That if I'd been serious about it, I could have helped him make new friends? I've seen what you and Jounouchi have done for him, and I just wish that I could have been a part of that. I-" Atem raised his finger to his lips, and Anzu understood. Then he smiled, and Anzu didn't understand.

"You don't know this, because neither Yuugi nor Jounouchi would ever, ever bring it up, and if it weren't for me already being dead, I'd be worried about them killing me, but when they were trapped in Malik's duel to the death, Yuugi told Jounouchi that he loved him." Anzu only raised an eyebrow at that. "Now, we all know that Yuugi and Jounouchi would never become 'lovers', not even if someone was using the millennium rod on them, but that doesn't change the truth of what Yuugi said. He might think himself small at times, but the fact is that Yuugi's heart is easily the largest that any of us will ever encounter. It's the reason that he's been able to make so many friends now, but more then that, we all occupy a different place in his heart, a different role in his life. Anzu, you couldn't have done what we did, because that wasn't what Yuugi wanted from you. You said that Yuugi used to be weak, but I don't think he ever was, and more importantly, I think you were the first one to realize it." Anzu's eyes were wide with shock.

"Atem, you're giving me too much credit. Yes, eventually I realized how strong Yuugi really was, but that took a long time, and until then-" Atem interrupted her.

"No Anzu, I'm as certain as I can be that you never thought he was weak. Anzu, what are Yuugi's best qualities?"

"His kindness, his compassion, his faith and trust in his friends."

"And was he ever lacking in these qualities?"

"Well, no-"

"Then you know I'm right. When Yuugi was defending Jounouchi and Honda from that thug Ushio, he was thinking about the wish he'd made on the puzzle; that he could have friends that could count on him and he could count on in return. You couldn't always be hovering over him, but when you were there, you know he could count on you, always. And he would always be there for you, no matter what." Atem was rarely wrong in his confidence, so when he saw that tear break out, sliding down a face that had been hardening itself against such things, he struggled to suppress his own. "Anzu, what's going on? I can remember every moment Yuugi's been with you, and you've never hurt him." Anzu kept her voice even

"You don't know, you really don't know, do you? What really happened at the Water Park?"

"What are you… you mean the incident with the card bomber? What about it?"

"Didn't you ever think that it was strange, how I ended up on that Ferris wheel after we were all told to escape the park? Didn't you ever wonder what I was thinking, doing something so stupid and crazy?"

"I'm sorry, I was too worried about trying to rescue you to think about anything else, and once it was over, I stopped thinking about it all together. What are you… oh." His eyes became wide, though not so wide as Yuugi's could get.

"Yes, I wanted to see you. I'd gone to the park with Yuugi, but that wasn't good enough for me. The only way I could see you was to be saved by you, so I threw myself into danger, real danger, just for the chance to see you. It was the stupidest, most selfish thing I could have done, and I didn't hesitate for even an instant. Atem, how can I forgive myself for doing that to Yuugi?" A gentle smile crossed his features.

"Forgive? Anzu, we've managed to forget something just now. Yuugi's greatest quality, the one that outshines all others; Anzu, he forgives. It's not in him to hate or hold grudges; he just lets the past wash away. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have been able to save Malik from his darkness and we'd all be lost forever. Anzu, would you ever shove Yuugi aside just to see me again?

"No, of course not."

"Then you have forgiven yourself. You've moved past that chapter in your life, just like Jounouchi, Honda, Seto, Mokuba, Malik, and everyone else did, and that's the important part of forgiveness." They sat there quietly, contemplating what had just been said.

"Thank you, Atem. I just, I'd never talked about this with anyone else, and now that you might finally be leaving us, all these thoughts are rushing back to me. This, kind of brings me to the other thing that I want to thank you for; Thank you, for never leading me on."

"Anzu, I don't understand." The words leapt out almost instinctively, but Anzu just shook her head in mock admonishment.

"Atem, I know that you were always more focused on your past and on Yuugi, but don't try and pretend that you didn't know how I felt. At the very least, Yuugi knew, so you knew too. All the same, you never tried to string me along, never dropped any hints that you might have reciprocated, and though there was the part of me that yearned for you to do so, I can see now how wise you were to not do so. I just, there's a voice in my heart that won't be quiet, that wants Yuugi to lose so you can stay, or if he does win, that voice is telling me to chase after you into the afterlife, and no matter how much I yell at it, no matter how much I try to scream sense into it, my heart won't listen. It has been shrinking though, and while I don't think it will ever go away, while I don't think I'll ever stop missing you, I'm reaching the point where I can handle it, and be truly honest with Yuugi. Does any of this make sense to you?" Atem closed his eyes.

"Of course. In fact, I have a confession of my own to make, about how my own heart won't listen to me. As much as I would like to deny it, as much as I 'd like to think it farcical, the fact of the matter is, is that I'm jealous of you." This, more then anything else she'd ever heard in her life, struck Anzu back with almost physical force.

"What?!? You're Atem, the Pharaoh, the King of Games, victor over the dark lord Zorc Necrophades and a thousand other battles besides. What can… how can there be anything for you to be jealous of me? It doesn't make any sense."

"Anzu, you're thinking too grand, and besides which, you're just as responsible for our victory over Zorc as anyone else, or have you forgotten how you bought the cartouche at just the right time? See, you're more important then you give yourself credit for, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you and Yuugi. More precisely, the bond you two share." Now Anzu was just plain confused.

"Our bond? No offense, but I'm nowhere near egotistical enough to think that what I have with Yuugi can compare to what you have with him. I mean, if I understand it right, you two are two halves of the same soul. How can I possibly compete with that?"

"The bond between Yuugi and me, it's not like anything else that's ever existed in this world. Whatever Yuugi feels, I feel, whenever he's hurt, I'm there to protect him, and yet… Anzu, I want you to try and look at me. Really look at me." She looked him in the eyes, those powerful eyes.

"Anzu, look." Atem raised the Millennium Puzzle up in front of his face, blocking his eyes. "This, is where I really am. Even when I take over, this is still Yuugi's body, these are still his hands, his eyes, his hair, and as much as I may want to, I can't touch him, not really. I can appear to him to be standing off to the side, separate from him, but that's an illusion, no more real then the world of my memories was, merely a shadow of a shadow. But you Anzu, you're really real, in every way that counts, and believe me when I say that when you kissed Yugi on the forehead on your birthday, he was so full of mirth that he could have lifted himself off the ground and flied home. No matter how much I try, I can't do anything but hold my own hands, but you, you can hold his." Atem briefly paused, processing what he'd let out. "That's another thing. You do have the right of it when you say that Yuugi and I are two halves of the same soul, and while this does bring us an incredible bond, the fact is, is that there was never any choice in it. If anything in this world was destined, it was Yuugi releasing me from the Puzzle. I can only exist through him, except for this last battle, and then it will be goodbye forever, but you're different, Anzu. Not now, nor ever, have you existed as an extension of Yuugi. You became his friend all those years ago because you wanted to, and you've returned his feelings for you, because that's what you chose to do. Even dancing in New York was your choice, from the very beginning, and when I was afraid to confront who I really was, you pushed me to pursue my past, and without that, we would never have gotten to where we are now. I could spend millennia, and still not convey to you the full weight of how important your ability to choose was." Anzu looked at him oddly, and then she started to giggle.

"I'm sorry, it's just, I can remember thinking once several years ago that Yuugi would be lucky to have one pity date in all his life, and yet here we are, arguing over who loves him more. Me, the girl that he probably felt was always out of his reach, and you, the one time king of Egypt. I'd never have thought it, and yet, it all seems so natural. He really is a wonderful guy, isn't he? It's such a shame that it took the world so long to realize it." Atem nodded.

"You look a lot better now, Anzu. After this battle is over, when I'm gone, and Yuugi looks like he's ready to listen, I want you to tell him all this, everything we've said. Right now, it would just be a distraction from what he needs to do, but he will need to know soon."

"Of course. Thank you again, Atem. For being in our lives, however brief it was. I think I'll be able to sleep easy tonight. Whatever fear and doubt I once had, it's all gone now." She reached the door and bowed to Atem before leaving, closing the door behind her. He waited to make sure she didn't burst back in, and then called Yuugi back from his soul room.

"So, were you able to help Anzu?" Atem smiled.

"Only thanks to you, partner."


End file.
